I saw a funny cartoon on Instagram where the caption said, “Once my nervous system figures out that my inbox is not a tiger, I will be unstoppable.”
That made me laugh because I have been there! Anxiety and overwhelm that seem irrational for the situation.
There are a few ways our nervous systems get out of whack when we have ADD…
Fixating, Obsessing, Conflict Thought Loops
Fixating on negative or imagined situations, over-reacting, jumping to conclusions, or being easily offended by the actions or words of others- these are facets of emotional dysregulation.
“She didn’t respond to my text (within a certain time frame), so she must not like me.” “They didn’t invite me to play pickleball. They must not like me/must think I’m a jerk.”
“Why did he say that about my shoes, that wasn’t nice. I should’ve said…”
ADD and Impulsivity
I’ve had multiple episodes of emotional intensity and impulsivity in my life that have gotten me in hot water or gotten me so elevated emotionally that I acted out of character.
One time a guy nearly hit me and my dog when we were in a crosswalk, and we had the right of way. I pounded on the hood of his car and shouted at him.
Another time, in my twenties, coming out of a bar on a college campus at night, some guys screeched around the corner and almost hit me and my friends. I kicked their car. One of them jumped out and cold-cocked me. Not my finest moment. I’ve had other impetuous and reactive moments like this throughout my life.
ADD brains struggle with impulsivity, reactivity, and getting stuck in mental loops. Whether it’s pounding on a car hood in the moment or replaying arguments for days afterward, it’s all connected to how our brains process emotions differently.
ADD and Emotional Regulation- Ferrari with Bicycle Brakes
The prefrontal cortex—the part of your brain responsible for regulating emotions and controlling impulses—doesn’t function the same way in ADD brains. The connection between the prefrontal cortex and the amygdala (your emotion center) is weaker. Think of it like a Ferrari engine with bicycle brakes. The ADD brain revs up easily but struggles with slowing down.
It was a revelation to me to understand that I don’t calm down as quickly or easily as other people do. As ADD brains, once we’re elevated emotionally, it can take much longer to come back down. Emotions hit intensely and fast. Stressful environments can easily overload the ADD brain, especially if we are under-resourced (low sleep, blood sugar crash, too much cumulative stimulation). We can feel stuck in an emotion longer than expected.
Understanding that you may be wired this way is the first step to managing it.
What Has Worked for Me
Changing the channel- This is a mindfulness practice I developed during my divorce when I would spin scenarios and fights with my ex-wife over and over in my head. It became so toxic that I had to learn to catch myself in the loop and consciously say, “You are on the ex-wife channel. Change the channel.” Then I’d refocus—sometimes to music, sometimes to another topic, sometimes to gratitude. I had to think of my brain like a radio with channels. This hack still works for me anytime I notice myself caught in an unhealthy loop.
Meditation and breathing- Especially focusing on the exhales.
Walking or running outside, or some sort of movement like tai chi or yoga- connection with nature and sunlight. Dappled light through trees.
Global ADD strategies- Sleep. Exercise. Hydration. Being sugar-free, caffeine-free, alcohol-free, minimum fried foods. Keto has also been really good for me in managing my blood sugar and keeping my emotions more even.
We ADD people have to be even more zen than the average person to keep our emotions from getting out of control.
Other Things to Try
The lower your baseline of stress or overwhelm is, the less likely you are to get emotionally elevated in the first place.
Routines and predictability. ADD brains benefit from structure and knowing what to expect. When you’re not constantly making decisions or being surprised by what’s next, you preserve your emotional capacity for things that actually matter.
Externalization of tasks. Get things out of your head and into systems—reminders, calendars, timers. This reduces the mental load and background stress that makes you more reactive.
What’s your experience with emotional dysregulation? Drop a comment below.
Want to get new posts as they drop? Click the orange button!
If you want to dive deeper into managing ADD, here are some other posts.
- Managing ADD and Anxiety Without Prescriptions: What Actually Works (After 25 Years of Trial and Error)
- Getting Sh*t Done with an ADD Brain: How AI Can Help You Stay on Track
- 4 Email Hacks That Save ADD Brains From Overwhelm
You can also find resources and guides on my store at stan.store/markcool including an ADD strategies guide coming soon!
Regarding impulsivity, it doesn’t manifest only as outbursts; it can also be things like being accident-prone. My mom is ADD too, and she has had a history of bumping her head a lot because she’s moving too fast and impulsively. (I have about 60 stitches in my head and face probably because I have had a history of moving fast and impulsively.)